Not that long ago, I believed that I wasn’t worthy of investing into. I didn’t consciously think that but my behaviour and choices reflected this belief. It was a real oxymoron paradigm for me. On one hand, I rarely chose to invest into myself but on the other hand I must have believed that I was so unique and capable that I didn’t need to. I must have believed that I could grow and function, love and give without ever refilling my own tank – which I can’t. This led to me being disappointed with the state of my relationships and not achieving the results in life that I wanted.
No one can achieve the unending level of intimacy in their relationships, or results they want, unless they take responsibility, time and effort to ensure their own tank is full and their needs are being met …… so that you can serve and help others. We are so often scared of doing this for fear of it being considered selfish. Now I am not condoning being selfish however there must be a balance.
One of the quotes I have on my computer screen at home, says “You cannot give what you do not have”. It challenges me each day. The challenge comes from a desire to want to serve and give my very best to those who come across my path. If I want to give love, respect, energy, vitality, peace, care, practical help and health then I first need to have these things myself. When you do attempt to give these gifts when you don’t have them, it is generally less fulfilling or rewarding and can lead to exhaustion, burnout, an unbalanced life, procrastination, living in fear or resentment. It can also sometimes lead you to live from a space of scarcity rather than from a space of abundance. When you are scarce or lacking in something you tend to be more fearful and desperate. You are scared because what you have is little and so it may run out. Generally, not a lot of good comes when someone is acting out of desperateness. On the other hand, when you live in a space of abundance, you believe that what you have is enough and won’t run out and you know how to get more. When you give from that space, you give more freely, generously and abundantly.
I understand that sometimes in life your tank runs low. You can go through periods of low finances, lack of sleep, stress, health concerns or pressing deadlines. There are also seasons in life that call for sacrificial giving, which serves a purpose and meets a need in that season but rarely sustainable long term or permanently.
My question to you is: –
- Do you have a plan to correct the imbalance when it occurs?
- How do you refill your tank when it gets low or empty?
- How do you prevent your tank from being fully empty?
So, my friend, what areas of your life do you need to refill? And not just refill so you can operate from a full tank, which is great, but refill so that you can give and sow into the lives of those in your life. Growing and contributing are most closely linked to happiness so ensure you have lots of these opportunities in your life. It is a WIN WIN. When you grow and contribute you experience more happiness, and at the same time those around you benefit from your contribution and growth too.
It is for these very reasons that I created my “Be Weekend Retreat” for women. I am passionate about creating the space and resources for women to achieve balance and ensure that they are filling their own tank as well as giving to others. It is so important to get this right as it leads to longevity, generosity, passion and fulfillment.
If you or someone you know needs help, support or guidance in this area, head along to http://tix.yt/beweekend-retreat to check out the details for my “Be Weekend Retreat” on the 17th-19th March. It will be the perfect space to either start, enrich or support your journey. I would love to see you there. Early bird rates finish on the 26th Feb so don’t delay.
Much love, Lisa xx